Knock Offs
7 July 2009For the second time lately I’ve spent time with a guy and had a really good time. Unfortunately it was a straight guy. More unfortunetly, despite knowing this going in, I’ve felt worse afterwards.
I’m shown a glimpse of what it would be like to have a boyfriend to spend time with. Then I realise it’s not like that at all. It’s all fake. It’s just time with a mate that can be nothing more than that.
Why can’t I find a gay guy I can spend time with like this? Where there is the potential for more than just two mates hanging out. Where love’s embers could start to burn.
Two issues here. First up, I think you need to stop viewing every attractive guy as a potential boyfriend (gay or straight). Second, don’t shun the guys that you don’t see as boyfriend material because you might be stopping yourself from (a) getting to know a really nice guy who might be a good bf or (b) extending your friendship circle and meeting guys that might be good bf material.
In the two occassions I refer to, I didn’t spend time with the guys because I was attracted to them. I was attracted to them after/because I spent time with them.
Although in both cases their heterosexuality means nothing more can happen, the time I spent with them felt like what I want with a boyfriend.
If I could find a gay guy who, like these two, shared my interests and I could be friends with I’d go for it, but I can’t find any gay men who match me.
Well, the one who does doesn’t want me as anything more than an acquaintance.
I can’t win.
Just because someone doesn’t share the same interests doesn’t mean that they are incompatable. It’s actually nice to have some points of difference or individual hobbies that you can indulge on your own or with others. Broaden your search criteria.
Sorry…that last message sounded very preachy. As usual, my comments are simply suggestions and are well intentioned. Good luck!